


If You Leave Now, You Lose Everything

by glosssoo



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Blackpink Imagines, F/F, Jennie Kim - Freeform, blackpink - Freeform, blackpink drabble, blackpink fanfic, blackpink jennie - Freeform, blackpink writing, kpop, kpop angst, kpop imagine - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26831344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glosssoo/pseuds/glosssoo
Summary: You and Jennie have been together for two years now. While the relationship has been rocky as of recently, will you find a way to make it work before it's too late?
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Reader
Comments: 11
Kudos: 73





	1. Chapter 1

Her voice never sounded so cold. 

“This can never work.” Her voice came out tired and weak. “We both know it yet we keep going around in these circles and it’s not healthy. For either of us. Sooner or later we were bound to hit a wall.” 

Your eyes were filled to the brim with tears that threatened to spill out of your glassy eyes and over and out onto your flushed cheeks. You were standing behind Jennie, maybe ten feet or so, staring at her back facing you. She was holding her bags and was only mere seconds from taking a few steps and walking out your door for the very last time. 

Your mind was a mess, but you shook it back and forth as if that would help your thoughts get in formation to help sort this out. You felt paralyzed in your spot; unmoving, barely breathing for fear of being too loud and breaking the deafening silence. You didn’t know what Jennie’s next move was, and for the first time in the two years you both had been together, you were afraid. 

The relationship wasn’t all bad. You met Jennie when you were out shopping. You could see someone looking at you out of the corner of your eye as you sifted through some jeans on the rack and looked up just as she averted her gaze and easily jumped back into conversation with her friends, making it seem like it was all an illusion; like you made it up. You caught her doing this a few times while you were in the store, but didn’t think much of it. You knew she was a celebrity, in fact she was on a billboard right outside the store, but pop culture didn’t interest you much so you couldn’t say you were a big fan of her or her group. Not that you didn’t like them, you just didn’t know much about them. 

Her group left the store and you finished your shopping uninterrupted. After checking out nearly half an hour later, you left the store with your head down, organizing your wallet in your purse when you heard a voice behind you. Not thinking anything of it, you kept walking until you heard the voice again. 

“Hey! Hey, I know you can hear me!” She exclaimed. You briskly turned on your heels and not expecting your sudden movement, Jennie quite literally ran right into you. Catching her in your arms, you couldn’t help but think this felt like a movie scene. You looked down at her for a brief second, getting lost in her eyes. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. You figured the same was happening for her because as soon as you both realized what was happening, you jolted away from each other like you touched something you shouldn’t have. 

She averted her eyes when she spoke next. 

“I’m so sorry. I..uh...I saw you in the store and wasn’t sure how to approach you so I ended up leaving,” She meets your eyes, unsure, “but I came back when I realized I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to ask a beautiful girl like you out.” 

That was the beginning of the relationship you thought was going to last a lifetime. For a while, it really seemed that way. 

You and Jennie spent the first year of your relationship in absolute bliss. You were a lawyer and she was an idol, and being from different worlds meant you were both very busy, but you made it work. Not a day went by that you didn’t see Jennie, or at least heard her voice. 

Just as the two of you began to talk about moving in together, your law firm offered you a job to start and lead the new branch in New York. After long discussions with Jennie that ended in promises to make the long distance work no matter what, you accepted the position and two weeks later were on a flight to the U.S. 

If you would’ve known that would be the beginning of the end, you would’ve never stepped on the flight. 

The second year of your relationship was the most tumultuous year of your life. Six months into your move, you could tell Jennie was starting to distance herself. You attributed it to her growing fame and the growing schedule that came with it. You were guilty of it too. With everything that went into starting this branch, you worked many late nights and long weeks and the time zones were much more difficult to sync up for a simple phone call than you had originally imagined it would be; trying to squeeze in ten minute conversations here and there throughout the day just so you could hear her voice on the other end of the line. 

You two never even argued until just a few months ago. You had started something with her on a skype call after a few too many glasses of wine and a long stretch of loneliness, and after that night the argument seemed to never end. When she came to visit or you went to visit her, it seemed forced and anyone could see that you both were holding on to the miniscule threads remaining of your relationship. 

To make matters worse, because of both of your busy schedules, your visits seemed to get shorter and shorter. What used to be an entire week together slowly morphed into a half of a week together that turned into only weekend visits maybe once a month. There wasn’t enough time to work on your problems even if you realized what they were before it was too late. 

Now, here you are in your New York apartment. Another weekend visit gone awry, but you’re becoming increasingly frightened that this might actually be the end this time. 

“If you leave now, you lose everything.” You croaked out, voice strangled from the effort of keeping the tears in. It seemed to be a lost cause as they suddenly overflowed down your cheeks and onto the floor. 

“You lose us.” You continue when Jennie doesn’t respond. You were hoping that she was searching for the voice inside her that was telling her to stay just a little longer this time. 

“Our friendship.” You keep pleading, your voice lowering to barely a whisper. You could hear your own pain seeping through the words. 

“We said we’d still be friends if this didn’t work. What happened? What has changed?” This sounded more like a plea to yourself, but Jennie wasn’t sure, so she turned to face you. 

It wasn’t a lie. When you started dating Jennie, she promised that even if you guys didn’t work out, that you would still remain close. She claimed you were just too special to not have in her life, either romantically or platonically. You had taken her word for it because you too felt Jennie as being someone too special to just cut out of your life. How things have changed. 

She met your eyes and you could see the internal torment splayed out across her features. She was hurting too. 

“Honestly?” Her voice softened, barely a whisper. “I had never thought that I would actually fall in love with you.” tears were now brimming her eyes as well. She remained standing by the door, bags in hand, eyes glossy and red. 

You couldn’t hold it in any longer, collapsing onto the couch behind you and placing your head in your hands, hoping it would help muffle your sobs. You searched for a reasonable explanation for all of this. You guys could figure this out, right? All of the promises you made to each other had to be for something, right? You couldn’t accept that this is really how it was going to end. 

“Why would you promise me-” is all you managed to get out, no longer able to complete a coherent thought in between sobs. 

“I’ve never been in love like this before,” she said. Her voice was coming out stronger than before.  
“I didn’t know how to love another person until I met you. I barely even knew what it actually meant to ‘fall in love’. I can’t go back to being friends with you because nothing will ever be the same.” Tears were falling in tiny trails down her cheeks. 

At those words, you quickly shot up from the couch and closed the gap. This time you were the hostile one. You ripped the bags from her hands and tossed them onto the couch behind you. 

“Then tell me why we can’t make this work, Jennie. Tell me why you have to go. Tell me why you can’t just stay one more night and we can talk about this in the morning.” 

Your pleas were sounding desperate, but you were running out of ways to get her to stay. At this point, you were just trying to slow the inevitable. You wanted to remember what it felt like to have her in your arms just one more night. You knew that as soon as she walked out the door, she’d be gone for good, and this time you wouldn’t have a date for when she’d come back. 

You could feel your eyeliner melting off your face with your tears, but it was the least of your worries. You dug your index finger into her chest. 

She quickly grabbed your arm and moved it down as she continued. 

“I never see you. Even when we plan time to see each other it’s always a month after we last saw each other. An entire month.” She emphasized the last part, looking directly into your eyes, trying to get you to really understand. “My career--both of our careers are really just now starting to take off. If we keep this up we’ll only see each other once every six months.”

You looked down, realizing you were standing with Jennie’s hands in yours, and you watch as a single teardrop falls on them. Just like the day your relationship started, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. You don’t even know who the tear came from at this point, not that it matters anyways. You looked back up with her with sad, pleading eyes. 

She continued. “I can’t be friends with you because,” her voice pitched up as the tears became more frequent, “I can’t stand talking to you knowing that I still love you. Knowing that we had something, and now we don’t anymore and there’s nothing we can do about it. It won’t work.” 

Her words shot through your veins like ice, and for a brief moment you closed your eyes, hoping that the stinging would go away, or that you would open your eyes again and all of this would be a dream. When you opened them and realized that this was very real, you didn’t have any words to say. Instead you moved your hands up to hold Jennie’s face. You stood like that for a moment before bringing your lips to hers. She returned the soft pressure, but nothing about this kiss felt right. Not after all the words you had just exchanged. Not after thousands of warm, passionate kisses you had shared in the past two years. It was forced, but it brought you some more time to process everything that was going on. 

Jennie pulled away first. She used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe the tears from your face, and walked past you to retrieve her bags that had long been forgotten. 

“Um, I’ll, uh, call you when I get back to Korea.” She said. Her voice was low. You stood paralyzed in place again. There was some metal clinking behind you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to turn towards the sound. She walked up to you, facing you, but you kept your gaze at the wall just over her shoulder. She took your hand to open up your palm, place something in it, and close your fingers over the hard metal. You didn’t even have to look to know what it was. 

Jennie turned to leave, looking over her shoulder one last time before closing the door. Your gaze moved to the door as she closed it, and shortly after you opened your palm to see Jennie’s key to your apartment laying between your cold fingers. 

You couldn’t remember how long you stood there before your limbs collapsed onto the hardwood floor. There was no strength in your body to pull you towards the couch that sat just a few feet away from you. 

It was sometime in the middle of the night before you felt your eyelids flutter and sleep overtake you on the cold ground. Your phone laid on the ground near your head, waiting for her call. Maybe once you both had time to think about this you could be more rational. 

Your brain rattled with ideas on how to make the relationship work, but you couldn’t tell if they were good or not in your current state, so you slept.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take one last leap to get Jennie back. Will it work or will you end up right where you started?

She never called. 

The phone call she promised was replaced with a simple text of “made it home”, followed by complete silence in days following. You had tried to call. Once, twice, three times. Each time, the only Jennie you heard was the cheery one telling you to leave a message, but you always hung up before she got that far. The first time you had made it through, only to push an “I love you” through sobs and hung up immediately after, feeling stupid for even saying that much. 

And you don’t really know how, but you ended up frozen in front of Jennie’s door on the other side of the world, nearly a month after she had tearfully walked out of your life. Just staring at this door brought back so many memories. All the times Jennie fumbled with her keys while you teasingly placed kisses along the side of her neck. You can still hear her giggling as she tells you to stop long enough so she can open the door. Or, another time you both created a holiday wreath to place on the door, standing in the hallway admiring both of your handiwork after spending nearly an entire day finishing the project, high-fiving as you re-entered the apartment.

Your hands clenched at your sides as you tried your best to keep your tears at bay at the fallen memories. 

You called out of work the day after Jennie had left, only relaying that you were sick. It wasn’t a total lie. You were exhausted from not sleeping the night before and every inch of your body ached from laying on the cold, hard ground. All you wanted to do was crawl under a blanket and be sad, so that’s what you did. 

In the week following, you tried to pull yourself together enough to go to work and get your job done, only to drag yourself back home and fall prisoner to your own thoughts night after night, unable to bring yourself to take coworkers up on their offers to get dinner or go out. Even they were beginning to see a change in you. You kept wondering if there was more you could’ve done, or if you could have fought harder. These thoughts cycled through your brain until you came up with the only solution that would put you at peace. 

You had requested to be transferred back to the main branch of the firm, and as soon as it was approved, you put plans in motion to move back home as fast as you could. Packing proved to be a challenge as you had to bring out all of Jennie’s things that you had hid away for very good reason. Each item seemed to hold its own memory. Jennie, Jennie, Jennie. It’s all you could think of as you packed up each piece, scribbling “JENNIE’S THINGS” in thick black ink on the boxes to be sent with you back home. 

Standing in front of her door, you kept going through what you were going to say to her once you saw her face to face again. You thought about how she would react. Would she be shocked? Happy? Sad? Your mind suddenly went blank. You raised your hand to knock just as you heard loud laughter on the other side of the door. 

Sure, your family and your firm were surprised that you would be moving back home after a very successful professional year away. You were winning tough cases left and right, and you had built up a team of lawyers that was proving to be some of the state’s best. The professional successes couldn’t mask your unhappiness for much longer. You told them you just weren’t happy and never really found your place in America, and that was the end of the conversation. Even though your parents knew what had happened with Jennie, they really didn’t pry. You were happy about that. Otherwise, you’d be forced to face the reality that this maybe wasn’t the best of ideas. 

Time passed as you stood on her doorstep. You couldn’t even be sure how long had gone by while you were lost in your thoughts. It could’ve been an hour or five minutes, but it didn’t really matter. You shook your head free of thoughts one last time before brushing your knuckles across the door. Not too loud or too urgent, just loud enough to be heard in the apartment. 

When you moved back home, you waited another few weeks before actually deciding to pay Jennie a visit. Not being able to hear from Jennie at all made it seem like she never really existed. You passed her apartment building every morning and evening to and from work for days until you finally broke. You don’t know if you fully expected her to welcome you back with open arms, but you came to the conclusion that you needed to try one more time for yourself. 

You heard some footsteps on the other side of the door followed by another loud laugh. The sound of Jennie’s laugh, even through the door, was enough to make a few stray tears finally spill onto your cheeks. You never really thought you’d hear it again. 

The door swung open just as Jennie went to say something over her shoulder, face turned away from you. You were glad that she was smiling at least. At that moment, you couldn’t understand what she was saying. All you knew was that she was standing in front of you again, something you were unsure would happen. You let a small smile curve the edges of your mouth upwards.

She turned around and her expression immediately changed. She squinted at you, confused, as her brows furrowed together. Almost like she couldn’t decipher if it was really you standing at her door. Almost like she had already forgotten what you looked like. 

A weak “surprise…” left your lips at barely above a whisper as you held your arms up and more tears spilled out and down your face. She kept staring at you, confused, shocked and frozen in place. You put your arms down as you heard an unfamiliar voice and some footsteps moving towards the two of you in the apartment. 

“Babe! Who’s there?” She said as she came up behind Jennie and wrapped one arm around her shoulders. You immediately folded into yourself, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your hoodie as you looked away. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. This must be a bad time,” you mumbled out, suddenly dizzy, voice shaky and vision blurring, both of them looking at you confused for different reasons as you stumbled over your words, “um...this was a bad idea, I’ll just be going. Sorry.” 

The hallway was spinning and shrinking and you needed to get out as soon as you could. As you turned on your heels to leave you heard the mystery woman turn to Jennie to say that was weird and ask again if she knew who you were. You kept walking down the hallway to exit, trying to make it out before you could even hear her respond. You were surprised when you heard silence, and even more surprised when just a beat later you heard a voice calling after you. 

“Y/N?” The voice sounded unsure, like her brain was catching up to the situation and finally realizing what was going on. 

“Y/N! Come back!” Her voice raised a little as you could hear her heavy steps getting closer behind you. You kept walking, keeping your gaze forward and hoping she would turn around and go back inside. You really weren’t in the mood to be humiliated more than you already were. 

To your surprise, once you pushed through the door, you could no longer hear her following you. 

You don’t really know why you were surprised. Of course she’s moved on. She looked happy. That’s all you wanted for her. Unfortunately it wasn’t with you, but you could live with your decision to go to her no matter how much it hurt. 

Sliding into your car, you placed your cold hands on the steering wheel, sniffled up the remainder of your tears and drove back home in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehe let me know what you think ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Jennie be too late?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jennie's POV...enjoy!

Jennie was a mess.

As soon as she stepped out of your apartment, the tears flowed freely. She sunk down against the door for a few moments to collect herself but soon got to her feet, adjusted her mask, sunglasses and cap so as to stay incognito in the New York streets, and walked to her waiting car in the street. 

She thought that giving the situation some space would help her think everything through, but the only thing on her mind was how she thought she might’ve made the worst decision of her life. The 14 hour flight didn’t help either, and when she landed back home, she couldn’t even bring herself to dial your number and let you know she made it home, instead opting for a “made it home” text free of any emotion, written more so out of courtesy than anything else. 

Jennie knew you were trying to call her. She heard the voicemail left after the first call and almost called you back, but she figured there would be no way to get over you if she did that, so she deleted the call from the log. The second time you called, Jennie stared at her ringing phone in her hand and debated on whether or not to answer the call, going through everything that might be said if she did answer. As soon as she pressed her finger to the answer button, the call screen disappeared, signaling you had ended the call. The third time, the call came through in the middle of the night. Jennie was startled awake by the vibration on the nightstand and without thinking ended the call only to realize in the morning that it was you that had called. She almost wondered if there was some emergency that would explain why you were calling with no regard to time zones, but she was supposed to be ridding you from her life, so she pushed that thought to the back of her mind. After that, the calls ceased. 

Jennie spent some time off after returning from the States. For the first few days, she sulked around in her apartment, her group mates only coming by to bring food and make sure she was still doing well. On the inside, she really wasn’t, but she put on a smile so they wouldn’t worry as much. 

Midway through the week, she figured she needed to do some cleaning. As she did so, she tossed every single thing that belonged to you in a box that she labeled, “Y/N’s THINGS” in thick black ink and placed it in the corner of her room, having every intention to ship it back to you in the next few days. A few more days passed before she realized that not being able to see your things didn’t really help with getting rid of thoughts of you like she thought it would. 

In the following few weeks, she threw herself into work, thinking that maybe if she had something to occupy her time with, she wouldn’t think of you as much. Or how you’re doing. Or what you’re doing. Or if you’re thinking about her as much as she’s thinking about you. Jennie went out with friends and drank to try to wash the memory of you away, but it never seemed to work. It only left her with a headache the following day, and embarrassing stories from her friends about how she wouldn’t shut up about you. Again.

“How are you doing, Jennie?” Jisoo asked sincerely while walking out of a particularly difficult dance practice. Jennie assumed she had been asking about that when she replied. 

“Pretty good. A little tired. These practices have really been kicking my ass.” She stopped when she noticed Jisoo had stopped walking and turned to face her. 

“You know that’s not what I mean.” Jisoo said accusingly. 

Jennie took a deep breath before plastering a smile across her face and lying. 

“I’m doing ok. I’m figuring it out day by day.” It wasn’t a total lie, she was figuring it out, but she didn’t know how “ok” she really was. 

Jisoo squinted at her. “I don’t really believe you,” she paused, picking her step back up and moving past Jennie, “but if you do need anyone to talk to about it, I’m here.” And it was really nice, Jennie thought, to have friends that cared so deeply for her, but the wound was still so fresh that even bringing up the situation made her feel like salt had been thrown directly on it. She didn’t want to talk about you or how she felt about the situation because she didn’t wish to be faced with the harsh reality that she did miss you because there was nothing she, or anyone else, could do about it. You guys were over.

Another week passed before she received a phone call from an old friend from New Zealand saying, surprise, she was going to be visiting in a few days for the first time in a few years and staying with Jennie for a few weeks. The timing was perfect. Jennie had a pretty open schedule for the next few weeks and she was grateful to have someone else around to fill her time and hopefully this would be the kind of therapeutic presence she needed to start getting over you. 

Jennie was ecstatic, nearly floating through the airport and scooping her friend up in a long hug as soon as they reached each other. 

“Oh my god, babe! I missed you so much!” Her friend exclaimed rather loudly in the bustling airport. 

“I missed you too! It’s been too long!”

For the first few days, everything was going good. Jennie found herself wrapped up in everything her and her friend were doing together. She genuinely smiled for the first time in what felt like weeks. She thought maybe time actually could heal. 

Everything was going good until she started asking hard questions.   
“Is everything okay?” She asked on an afternoon coffee date. Jennie had been zoned out for a few minutes, staring out the window. Jennie shifted her gaze to her friend who continued, “You’ve been a bit distant today,” her brows furrowing in concern. 

Jennie didn’t know if she could tell her friend that the reason she was distant was because she had ordered what you usually ordered, and Jennie couldn’t stop thinking of all of the sweet coffee dates you two had been on in the past two years. 

Without thinking, she spoke up. 

“I broke up with Y/N.” She said flatly, looking directly into her friend’s eyes. 

“Sheesh,” her friend replied, clearly taken aback by the news, “I mean, I wasn’t going to ask, but you usually only talk about her so I was kind of wondering….” Her voice trailed off. 

Jennie peered into her cup of steaming tea, waiting for her friend to continue. 

“Jennie, what happened? From what you told me, it really seemed like she was the one?”

Jennie looked up again before replying, “distance” and leaving it at that. 

A silence sat between the two friends and Jennie was almost glad that her friend didn’t ask her anything else. She was fine with that for a while until she felt the words bubbling up her chest, threatening to escape. 

“I still love her.” Jennie said. Her own eyes widened as she heard each word leave her mouth. Well, it was out there now. 

Her friend looked sympathetic for a beat before responding, “Have you tried reaching out yet? Maybe you both should just talk it out?”

“No, we haven’t. You’re right. Maybe I should.” Jennie said, emotionless. Yeah, she had opened this line of conversation, but now she wanted to close it and she hoped her friend would catch on. Thankfully, she did, and soon both of them were heading back home. 

Jennie sat up in bed that night, kept awake by the thought of you and the box she seemingly had forgotten to ship in the corner or her room staring back at her in the moonlight. She didn’t know what to do at this point. She wanted you back, but it had almost been a month. What if you moved on? What if you were already over her and thriving in the U.S.? Her brain was flooded with scenarios of what would happen if she were to talk to you again, and all she really wished for before she closed her eyes to sleep, was a sign. 

The following evening, Jennie and her friend decided to cook dinner at home. Jennie appreciated the night in. 

“Hey! I don’t know if it’s even possible, but please don’t burn the pasta. If my memory serves correct, you were no Gordon Ramsey back in the day.” Jennie said teasingly. 

She loved being able to talk to someone with no pretenses. Her friend didn’t ask her questions about you and it made Jennie feel so free. 

“Har, Har, Jennie! If MY memory serves ME correct, you did burn the bacon this morning so you have no room to talk.” 

Jennie laughed out loud. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so freely. Probably with you, she thinks, and then swipes the memory away. 

Just then, she heard a knock on her door, looking toward the door and trying to think if she had invited anyone else over. 

“Let me get that,” She said while moving to unlatch the door, throwing one last thing over her shoulder before making eye contact with whoever was on the other side.

“And if you do burn this, you’re sooo buying brunch tomorrow.” Jennie giggled, turning to face her guest. 

Immediately meeting your eyes, Jennie squinted, trying to make sure what she was seeing was actually reality and not a hallucination. She couldn’t believe it at first, blinking a few times to make sure she hadn’t manifested this very situation with all of her thinking about you. 

She realized she had been lost in her thoughts for too long when she heard a weak “surprise” leave your lips. All she could think was you and all she could see were your eyes staring back at her, pleading. Yet, she felt paralyzed in her spot, not able to move, not able to speak. 

Jennie felt her friend walk up behind her and say something, but it sounded so far away that she couldn’t decipher what it was. So, she kept standing, frozen in her place. 

And, now what are you doing? Are you crying? Jennie couldn’t figure out for the life of her what was going on but then she heard you speak again. 

“um...this was a bad idea, I’ll just be going. Sorry.” 

Jennie heard you clearly, thoughts running wild at the thought of you leaving again. Jennie had asked for a sign and this was a pretty fucking big sign. No, no, Y/N, wait! She was saying the words but nothing was coming out. Her throat burned with the words that ached to be said.

You turned and headed to leave and Jennie could hear her friend asking her something, but again she couldn’t make out what it was. All she could think about was how she couldn’t just let you leave this time.

“Y/N! Come back!” Her voice strained out. You didn’t turn back around and Jennie grew even more confused. Did you not want her after all? She pushed those thoughts aside and turned to run back into the apartment, grabbing her car keys and a jacket and turning to leave again. She didn’t make it past the door before her friend grabbed her arm. 

“Jennie, what’s going on?” she asked, voice laced with concern. 

A single tear fell down Jennie’s cheek as she looked back at her friend. 

“That was Y/N.” They stared at each other until her friend connected the dots. 

“THAT was Y/N?” She instantly released Jennie’s arm from her hold. “Jennie, what are you waiting for? Go get your girl!” 

And with that, Jennie turned and bolted to the door at the end of the hallway, sprinting down the stairs to the parking lot and hoped she wasn’t too late.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will you and Jennie get back on track?

You drove home quickly, trying not to break down until you made it into the safety of your own home. Your mind raced with thoughts of what you just saw. Of course she’s moved on! She broke up with YOU. Tears threatened to spill out at the thought. You couldn’t focus on anything else besides making it home. 

Maybe if you were paying more attention, you would have noticed the strange car that had been following you the whole time. You would have noticed the heavy steps against the pavement trailing you in the parking lot. You would have heard the quiet breathing on the other side of the door as you slid down with your back against it, letting out quiet sobs. You would have known Jennie was listening from the outside. She was there. 

About five minutes passed like this before you heard a gentle knock against the door, sounding like it was coming from your level, like whoever was knocking was crouched against the door as well. You didn’t respond but you began to hear a familiar voice talk to you; quiet, gentle. 

“Y/N?” She asked, barely audible to you. “I know you’re in there. Please open the door.” It was quiet in the room, but your thoughts had never been so loud. You began going through every scenario until you had enough and pushed everything away. Now left with the silence and only the door separating you from Jennie, no longer thousands of miles between, you didn’t want to miss the chance to have at least one more conversation with her to tell her how you felt. 

You stood up, and before your fingers could unlatch the locks, you heard her let out a loud sigh before speaking up again. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, for everything, really.” Her breath was shaky and you knew tears were welling in her eyes. “I never should have left like I did. Please, just, open the door so we can talk about it.” 

As soon as she stopped talking, you opened the door to reveal Jennie, crouched on the floor and looking up at you. Wordlessly, you stepped aside as you opened the door wider, signaling it was okay for her to come in. She got up and brushed off her jacket before walking past you, eyes trained to the floor. Realizing that she’d never been here before, she didn’t know this place, she waited for your direction on what to do next. 

“Why are you here, Jennie.” Your voice had never sounded so cold, emotionless, and you made sure your eyes were focused on a spot over her shoulder, too afraid that seeing what she was feeling would break you down too. 

You could see her turn to look at you in confusion, hurt. 

“W-what?”

“I said, why are you here, Jennie? Weren’t you the one who said this would never work? Why waste a trip? Don’t you have your girlfriend to get back to?” 

Your eyes moved to meet hers and it hurt you how hurt she looked. You were hoping that she felt as betrayed as you did in this moment. 

“Excuse me? Girlfriend?” She pushed out, offended. “First of all, you came to me first, Y/N. Secondly, I don’t know what you think you saw or heard or whatever but the only girlfriend I hope you’re referring to is you,” she lowered her voice, sounding more hurt than before, “how could you think I could move on so quickly?”

You didn’t answer, instead stared blankly back at her. She didn’t really give you much time to respond before she was continuing, everything she was feeling over the last few weeks spilling out into the room, unfiltered. 

“God, Y/N, leaving you that day was the worst decision of my life. I made a promise to you-we made a promise to each other, and I broke that, and I am so immensely sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you never trusted me again.” She paused as her breath started to come in shaky, and you could tell she was trying to compose herself and her thoughts so she could get out everything she’s been wanting to say to you. “Ever since I left New York, everything has been a blur. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t even think of anything that doesn’t have to do with you. I thought that the distance would help, but it just made me feel so much more broken knowing you wouldn’t be coming back around. You know, I even almost answered your calls, but I was too much of a coward to actually do it. I was too scared of what you would say on the other end of the line. I was missing a piece of me, and that piece was you. It’s always been you.”

She surged forward, taking your hands in hers, tears now flowing freely down her face as she looked up at you. You took a deep breath, trying as hard as you could to not fall apart, to stay strong for both of you. 

“I transferred back to Korea.” Was all you responded with, and you were hitting yourself internally for that being the only sentence your brain could come up with right now. 

“What are you talking about?” Jennie asked as she sniffled away some tears, others falling onto the floor beneath you. 

“I transferred back to the firm’s branch here. I felt the same way since you left. I could barely function. I’ve never been dependent on another person, but my life without you in it, without hearing your voice or seeing your face every day, it just felt empty. Everything felt so wrong. So I transferred back here because I wanted to give it one last shot. I couldn’t bear to accept things as we left them, but it looks like you’ve already-”

“Y/N, stop. You’ve got it all wrong.” And for the first time that night she smiled at you. She looked absolutely wrecked, but her smile made everything in the world feel right again. 

“That girl in my apartment, she’s just a childhood friend from New Zealand. She hasn’t visited in over five years so you never met her, but I promise you there is absolutely nothing between us. I only want you. I told you I’ve only ever wanted you. You’re it for me, Y/N.”

Hearing her say those words made you immediately wrap yourself into her in the tightest hug imaginable. You nuzzled your head into her neck as she held you silently for several long moments. 

“Stay with me tonight?” It came out muffled into her neck, but she heard you clear as day. 

“I’ll stay,” she replied just above a whisper, softly into where her head leaned against yours. “I just have to make a call to my friend and let her know I won’t be back if that’s okay.”

You gave her a nod as you pulled back, “I’ll go get you something to change into.”

Making your way into your closet, you spotted the box labeled “JENNIE’S THINGS” where it sat on a shelf above you. You took it down, ripping the tape off and rummaging through it before you found what you were looking for. It was one of your old sweatshirts that Jennie used to wear so often, you dubbed it hers, hence how it ended up in a box of her things. You placed it on the bed, and went to go get changed yourself. 

You walked out of your closet as she pulled the sweatshirt over her head, moving to the opposite side of the bed and sitting down, looking over your shoulder to ask if she needed anything else before settling under the covers. If she noticed what the sweatshirt was, she didn’t mention it. The tension was still thick, so much left unsaid between you. You felt suffocated by everything you wanted to say to her, and you weren’t sure what to get out first, so you said nothing, and she said nothing. You turned your back to her and when you felt her slide in on the other side of the bed, you reached up and clicked the lamp off on your bedside table as she did the same. 

You were so close to each other, no more than a foot separating you, but you still felt like she was worlds away. This didn’t feel warm like it used to, falling asleep wrapped up in each other. This was different. You were facing opposite directions. It felt cold. 

Your eyes stayed open in the darkness, and you saw the first snowflakes drop onto your window sill directly across from where you lay. The first snow of the season. There was some serenity in the snowfall. There was no breeze, just frozen flakes floating down from the sky before silently hitting the ground. The room was so quiet that if you listened close enough, you could hear each snowflake landing against your window. This served as an escape from your thoughts, no longer thinking about how to mend your future with Jennie, but focused on counting each snowflake as it fell from the sky, hoping it would help lull you to sleep.

The clock on your nightstand read 2 am, and you weren’t sure how long you had been watching it snow, but you could now see that it had started to build up on the ledge outside your window. You were pulled away when you felt Jennie tossing and turning, unable to find comfort in your bed.

Your body stiffened when she shuffled in closer to you, wrapping her arms around you as she spooned you from behind. 

“Y/N? Are you awake? I can’t sleep.” You made sure to keep your breathing even as she waited for a response. You were curious to hear what else she had to say. 

“I love you, Y/N. I hope you know that.” She punctuated that with a soft press of her lips to your shoulder before giving you a gentle squeeze. She went quiet again for a while, and you thought she had fallen asleep until she spoke again. 

“We’re...um...we’re going to be okay, right?” At that, you turned in her arms, now facing her. You could tell her expression was worried, and you wanted nothing more than to take any of her doubts away. You took a hand and brushed the hair away from her face, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. 

“Yeah, Jennie, I think we’re going to be alright.” 

As soon as you said that, she looked over your shoulder and caught a glimpse of what was happening outside. 

“Oh my god, it’s snowing? Y/N, we have to go outside!” She exclaimed louder than she needed to, given the small space between you. She shot up quickly, flipping on the lamp as she began rummaging around, putting on more appropriate clothing to go outside in. The earlier awkwardness seemed to have dissolved.

“What are you doing? Come on, get up! It’s the first snow of the season. We have to go outside!”

You followed her lead, throwing on some sweats and getting lost in the way she was so giddy over such an ordinary occurrence. Something you had come to love about her over the last few years. You grabbed her hand as she led you through your apartment and out to the front of the building, only letting go when you made it outside. You watched as she ran and jumped and you walked behind, laughing at how she could make you feel so childlike in this moment. You spent some time just admiring the untouched snow. It was almost as if you could see each individual snowflake shimmering under the streetlights. It was fresh, the air smelling crisp and clean. You couldn’t help but think that it was symbolic of how it felt to be with Jennie right now; shimmering and new. A second chance. A fresh start. 

Jennie brought you out of your thoughts as she jumped into you, giving you no time to react as you both fell back onto the ground, only the small layer of fluff breaking your fall. You both were laughing heartily. 

“Are you okay, baby?” She got out in between laughing fits, and you realized you were more than okay. You wanted this forever. Jennie’s laughter was addicting, and you didn’t want to go another day without hearing it. It was a culmination of all of the little things you loved about her from the last two years rushing back at you all at once that overwhelmed every one of your senses. Your brain was clouded with everything that was Jennie. You might’ve also hit your head on the ground, but you didn’t want to think about that right now. 

“Marry me.” 

The laughter died down as Jennie’s eyes came back to focus on yours, looking for an explanation. 

“W-what?” 

“Marry me, Jennie,” the way she was looking at you made your confidence waver a bit so you continued, “I mean, well, not right this second obviously, and I don’t have a ring or anything yet, and this isn’t even how I planned to ask, but one day, I mean some day, will you–”

She cut your rambling off by pressing her lips to yours in a long, slow kiss. 

“Yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes, I’ll marry you. Some day. One day. Whenever. I’ll marry you.”

Making your way to bed much later, you waited until you heard Jennie’s breathing deepen before letting yourself doze off. You knew there was still much to talk about in the morning, but for now the only thoughts running through your mind were that you were happy. That Jennie was happy. You were happy you didn’t lose everything after all. You didn’t even lose anything, really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this series! Let me know what you thought in the comments!

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Thanks for reading! I wrote this a few weeks ago and then left it to simmer for a while before revisiting. I think I have some ideas if I decide to continue, but I'm always open to suggestions. Let me know what you think!


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